Some time ago, the wise Rob Brezsny wrote this in my horoscope:

For many Aries, independence is a virtue that flows in abundance — so much so that it’s sometimes on the verge of becoming excessive and turning into a vice. That’s why I’m thrilled to inform you that the mysteries of dependence could be especially
intriguing and useful to you in the coming days. They might also lead, paradoxically, to a form of interdependence that would in the long run nourish your independence. So how about it? Without compromising your free-wheeling spirit, can you blend yourself more thoroughly with trustworthy souls who care about you?

Can I?

I suppose that like all opposites in life, the ideal situation with independence and dependence is a careful balance – the middle line, some of both, each in moderation.

I am, in fact, abundantly independent, and probably well past the “verge of becoming” excessively so. I neither expect nor want anyone to do anything for me. And that’s fine  – for me – most of the time.

The problem is the people in my life who enjoy doing things for others – it gives them joy and satisfaction to know that they’ve made someone else’s day a little brighter or easier. I should know – ironically, I’m one of them. I know how it feels to have your gestures and efforts rejected, or to be told that they’re unnecessary.

It hurts.

So I am practicing being dependent without loosing my independence. I’m practicing relying on others and trusting others. It’s difficult and I make a lot of mistakes – everything about dependence goes against the grain, against a lifetime of lessons that taught me to be so fiercely and stubbornly independent. But slowly, I am learning to soften, to open, to let in the love.